There are times when you just feel like giving up all your conscience and shouting out to everybody who's, in some weird way, responsible for the disturbia going on in your head ! Yeah, as if my head wasn't insane enough on its own!
Times like these, I for one, beg for being able to act without consideration..or without any consequent guilt. But sadly, as you grow up, turns out life builts in a really heavy conscience for you..you just can't allow yourself to cause hurt right, left and center. If only, the people you give it out to would repond in the same way..life would be a much simpler place to live in.
I remember how as a kid I'd once gone crying to my mum about how some friend hurt me..and she told me that its nice to have friends around but a distance is needed, just the right amount of distance that lets you pick who gets to get to your head and who doesn't. Well, I guess somewhere in my teen rebel phase I defied that very very strongly. And now its a mess.
From being somebody who really couldn't care less about how they (where they refers to anybody but family)
acted with her to somebody who can't stop brooding over  the same. And the worst bit, there's this silly feeling of guilt that comes from absolutely nowhere, but just won't leave!! And these people we're talking about..oh yeah..they's cool with it all..or maybe not. it would of course be much easier if I exchanged my stupid brooding head for a mind reader's.
From being the teenager with the most sorted out head (now thats rare!!!) to being somebody with no track of the nuances of the head's mechanics! God help me..or get me comfortably numb pink floyd..or somebody, anybody..just drive a stake right through my head!!!

Fighting the stereotypes..(My part)

Inspired? Yes. By? Well..two things largely..my current situation (which is? wait for it..) and a friend's project I was very graciously asked to be a part of (the name, Fighting the Stereotypes, comes from there)

So my stereotype was supposed to be "being intelligent=scoring well" ..intellect is easily measured by how well you score..at least till you're out of college. And anyone who's seen genius will agree with me on how much of a prejudice that is.

My current situation ..well..is borne out of 11 years of scoring real well (Yes, I never heard the word "modesty", if thats what you're wondering 'bout ..)..and then *POOF*..entrances fail me..and I'm suddenly the dumbest mind around!!! Honestly, I wouldn't say i worked my ass off for them..but then with what little I did put in..what i got is not half bad. Won't go into the details of what did go wrong..just that this wasn't my year to score! BIG DEAL!! I mean, I get how important it is for my future and stuff..of course i do..its MY furture after all..and I don't dream of a bleak one for crying out loud! But, not getting into everything you applied for DOES NOT qualify you for a dumbass all together anymore than one match lost makes R. Federer the worst player around (Ok..no comparisons there..I know ..but you get the idea..)

When you haven't failed all your life..(and trust me I know loads who haven't..well, at least when you're just 18..you haven't had a lot of opportunities to fail at)..people start assuming you never will..or at least thats how they react when you have your first fall. As if the brutal THUD wasn't enough to crush you. And mostly..the killing disappiontment comes from family itself..not the immediate one of course..mostly the uncles and aunts you never heard congratulating you in those 17 years you shone!!

Ok..I did get away from the stereotype fighting bit :p..I just had to..HAD TO..get this out somewhere..and since not a lot of people are going to be bothered by this..here we are..the perfect frustration vent ;)

Today, all I know is..that I wil make it big..10 years hence..this little setback will not count anymore than all the sneers do now!! I know I'll make it big..because I trust my intellect ..not the scorethat works well as a qualification for the linear thinkers!!!

“Now I can let these dream killers kill my self esteem-or use my arrogance as steam to power my dreams!!!” - Kanye West

Why and what!!

Listening to Eminem's verse in B.o.B's newest hit single, Airplanes, play inspires me (Anything Eminem does for that matter )..THAT is why.

Realising that I'd promised myself that I'd be back on the writing front once I'm done with my virtually busy period..and that i'd done nothing for that promise except gather lyrics to superhit singles by legendary artists and sing along as their numbers played trying to ruin their musical genius..I stumble across B-logger again ..DAMN MUSIC !! :p ..That is WHY.

As to the what bit..nothing in particualr..I'd try sticking to the title of the blog..on a more serious note, with more intellectually stimulating writings..but BAH! I've tortured my poor head (and loads of others' back on WC) way too much to be doing that again..for some time at least. So, this is just going to be randomn stuff ((I know you read that a lot on every other B-log..but hey! that's the perfect excuse if you end up with ZERO audience ;) )).

Mostly because I'm bored till I end up with a college. And because I just HAD TO start writing something before I lost my abilities to come up with a straight sentence completely..is also WHY!!

Now I need to figure out how to upload this very last video with all my school chums..so I stop writing here.

P.S. If the B-log doesn't interest you and if you managed to read it enough to get to the P.S. ..just drop in comments with suggestions to upload a 57.7 MB video on facebook or youtube..I've TRIED + FAILED each of the 20 times!!